Support from the First Lady of the Balti Broomcupboard Association

Hello everyone, this is PlebNo1!! There's my dating carriage..

You know I really wish people close to me would get the guts to tell me how much of a real pleb I am. I mean they keep letting me loose on Air, and not only allow me, but pay me totalk my shit all day long (yes, yes, I know I look like a turd, I'm starting to learn now)..You never know though, i've got this far without anyone noticing...and I've nearly forgotten all about the Market Stall Shop in the crappy Bull Ring (a meeting place for the smelly, the homeless and gypsies..aaahhh actaully I'm still sort of living this theme everyday of my life aren't I? oh well, more introspection I think, Rajesh will know what to do, I'm sure). Anyway, if I can get a guest slot on the Big Question this Sunday, life would be brilliant, as that's a 'debate' show isn't it, and well I'm the only one of the crew who hasn't been on,( not that any of us know anything about all the issues discussed, but hey the Big Balti Association really knows how to hold onto their staff, even if they don't do any work..just like moi)

Anyway, the pressure of the 'present' for Mummy is really getting to me, and Rosemary is just not spellchecking my work anymore. This is a real problem, but I may recover. I think she may have stopped spellchecking my work due to the fact that I am such a 'wussy' and can't even stand up for her. Instead of sorting out the girl who insults, I just try and appease my girlfriend, and make her try and get used to it. Fantastic boyfriend I am, but it's ok, everyone knows that I'm a wuss...skirting around for women half my age is fantastic! it'll take at least 5 more years for them to realise what I'm really like, but I have a foolproof method to keep them for life. I get them pregnant!! Fantastic!! It really works, see after the first kid, they lose millions of brain cells anyway, and suddenly yours truly becomes sEx sTuD.. My suggestion is anyone circa 1984/85.

If anyone would like to borrow my pram to take on the first date, to make that 'lasting' impression please drop me line titled 'PRAM' and email adil@bbc.co.uk or get the text number of www.bbc.co.uk/asiannetwork and scroll down to the presenters page and click on the section called 'pleb'.

Soory about any spelling problems, is hard to control my hand ever since I left the StAlKeRnO1 hAnDwRitinG for normal handwriting style...it's hard erasing the memory but I think i may just be able to muster it, with the help of Rosemary xxx