Dear Mummy, my heart..xxxxxx
I love you mummy, and all these threats from the underworld are making me think about the 'real' things that are important in life, and well it's you...you've been through sooo much for me, and I remember the way dad has been treating you all these years...
You've nver had a real penis have you..well we couldn't get Jim'll fix it, to fix it for you, but we have got you a nice treat instead...
Me and rosemary locked our heads together and well we bought you this...you know she's an amazing artist, and well she loves you too really, and wants to call you 'mummy' too..so we thought wouldn't it be nice for her too get her sketch book out, and draw you a sketch of a penis? To celebrate our move to the United States Of America, she drew one of the US flag too xxx Isn't she simply the best, i like to think so too...the one above is for happiness, that's why we put a smiley face on top (my idea,,,to make you smile mummy)...
i deeply now a cartoon penis, and a sketchbook penis is simply no consolation for what you've been put through in life, but i hope it shows we've thinking about your predicament deeply..and really emphathise with what you must of been feeling all your life...you know I hate to see people sad, you know how i love making people happy, and this is my way of showing you mummy that we all care.
thinking of you xxxx
signed the village idiot xxxxx
(but an idiot who loves you mummy, nore than you'll ever know)
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