Look, Ok, this is all getting very out of hand. When we go to Asian weddings, everybody dances in a circle, and I was just pondering why people dance in 'circles' on my show!!! I was just saying you shouldn't have any circles or triangles on the dancefloor, that's all, as us Asians don't have the inititiative to do anything ourselves (i think that's what I was trying to say)..and something about how My Mom loves doing the Waltz and the Tango (yeah fucking right says Shaherzaad, more like fucking kusra giddha, a punjabi dancing speciality, since your such a 'real' Punjabi)
Anyway, I'm sorry I always have a go at women who are loners, it's just my mummy has never been loved by anyone, ever. She's only has sex twice in her life, and well 'like' me, she makes damn sure that she makes the best use of what resources she has (she remebers the days in the village, very, very well...not like you greedy english people who have had life way too good')
She's very greatful that someone poked her up a bit..it was only my dad the first time round, second time round it was Beelzebub. That's why I look after her you see, and when we go to weddings i step up and be a man, and dance with my mummy, as my daddy never did this, and shows no signs of ever doing this.....I'm so ashamed...i used to watch mummy, and think why oh why won't anyone ever have sex with her...she has evrything, a big business, car, the lot... but no one wants her...all this injustice in my early life made me really sad, and too hide that sadness, if i ever see anothher women who even slightly resembles what my mummy had to endure, never knowing what a penis really felt like, especially my daddy's penis, i get very passive-aggresive and well start picking on those type of women, as it reminds me of the pain mummy went through...it's not my fault that I do this you see...but well you know my mummy went through hell, never having a penis to love and hold and cherish...although i can't offer her my own penis, i can help her in other ways, like dancing with her when she's alone on the dancefloor, or spending New Years Eve with her, when Dad's out getting pissed with Catman and co...
it's very hard for these women you know...i mean that's what 'penis envy' is all about isn't it Sigmund Freud. (not for me though, I'm more of an oedipus man myself). Maybe richard and judy can do a feature on penis envy, so you mere mortals who've never been to grammar school can be enlightened too xxx
ahh, i'm in a sad mood today..maybe I'll try and verbally kick Shaherazaad's head in today..oh I forgot, she's laughing at me with Freddy and EasternSpYE magazine...and well we won't have another sEx DuNgeOn for at least a year now, so I'll have to find another way of escaping my troubles...oooh..wonder if Omar's free to talk...oh yeah forgot he was just using me anyway.
Sorry Freddie, I will never mention you again...ever.
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