UH OH!!!
Right i have to get this off my pigeon chest! Problem is the above...well my girlfriend Frida is now a bit too 'close' for comfort with ENEWS! Presenter Ryan Oceancrest! (wow, beautiful name hey?)
She stand at the mirror for hours, and ignores me, lunges at me, takes out her anger at Shaherzaad at me, and well generally treats me like a creep, but with Ryan, is chatting for hours? What shall I do, i am really, really theatened, this always happens to me!! She obviously has taken a shine to him, and I'm wracked with depression...I'm here all along, and she leaves the house and doesn't tell me where she is, and where she is going?? What I'm I going to do, Mummy's milk powder mix has run out now aswell...how will I ever get through?? He's better looking than me, more witty, more succesful and has access to tons more celebs than me, in fact he puts my Z list contact list to desperate shame!!
She's even stopped noticing my jokes, and never takes any interest in my show, what if she dumps me after we have the baby?? I can't even get any breast milk from Mummy as she's on the other side of the world. Maybe if I invite him to my SeX dUNgEoN then he will see how pitiful I am, and leave her alone out of sheer pity. It's very hard for me here, in the United States of America! I think he's coming tomorrow, but now I think that Frida's idea to let me have a sex sock corner in my SeX dUNgEoN was actually her just 'jesting' with me.
The worst thing is that bitch Shaherazaad has worked all this out, so I'm hoping that My DJ friends will take the piss out of her, I know she won't cry anymore, but hey at least it gives me some hope, and then I can click the CD player, or TV and then I get some confidence back...but everything is going very, very pear shaped...I've been depressed all day, and everybody is telling Shaherazaad all about my sock drawer phobia. I just don't know what to do, my world'd being turned upside down.
Oh well, at least I have my Radio Programme to try and act bad in... then that will make me feel better.
Too scared to slate Ryan though, as he knows more celebs than me xxx Better calm down, as the heart is giving me problems, and also Frida is worried I can't get regular work!! More features for chocolate covered shoes, which is something everyone wants to know about....it's ok, my DJ mates are taking part in some 'foolproof' manipulation techniques with a bunch of wrinkle faced grannies as we speak!! Get the grannies on board, that's what I say, might try that one myself...no better think about how Rajesh would deal with all this, he'll know what to do.
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