All hell's breaking loose!!

The best street in Dadyal (hello RadioXL listeners, Yes, I've heard all the lovely dedications you have all been sending me in Urdu...how nice, ok you know everything now..it's a fair cop..oh well you can get all your RajaNo1 dedications on top of the list if you mention : http://www.stalk4u.blogspot.com/)

That bitch Shaherazaad...oh well, keep positive Raja! Oh well, maybe if it doesn't work out with me and Frida in New York we can relocate to the homeland...with the size of her tache, we'll get in with the bestest War Lords in the whole of Mirpur. Not that I'm from Mirpur of course.

Frida has been charging at me!!! Aaagh...she does this thing where she lunges at me, and her voice begins to break into sort of a Frank Butcher style/Death Metal type groaning, if that's what I could call it??!! I think she's going through the 'change' where she morphes into a hairy incredible hulk, which is could because I like Green anyway xx

I just don't know what to do...I mean I know that I'm the one to blame for Shaherazaad's silver capped tongue, I mean I know I'm the creep that deserves this, but hey...I accept her moustache...''I love you just the way you are' (Rihanna for those not in the musical know, me and Frida really know our stuff see)

Even Trigger was mentioning Shaherazaad's new found verbal lashing, it's the talking point of the world, and well there's nothing we can do...we've tried the colour co-ordinated outfits, but they just don't work anymore!!! Now everybody knows about our 'problems' in our relationship...eeek!! But i'm secretly dying inside xx It's ok, as long as shams doesn't click on, then everything will be just fine...

Here's hoping she doesn't call me tomorrow after work, and tell me not to wait up for me honey?? I'm the housewife these days, working from home, and she goes out and earns all the 'real' crusts. The problem is, she's starting to get violent...Please does anyone know a Domestic Violence Agency in New York (My sooo favourite city in the whole wide world). Can anyone help me?

Anyway, forget this, I've got a brand new spanking job to think about! I'll just take that picture of Rajesh Mirchandani from under my pillow and imagine I'm him. Turned on the radio today, and at least three times I've heard DJ's interviewing Moustache experts about their Magnum style facial hair..do you think they all know about Frida's tiff and her fisticuff fight?? It's ok, it'll bring us together on the nip and tuck table when I go for my botox. I wonder what Rajesh would do in my situation? I'll have to make a telepathic link with him, or get Frida to cast some Psychic spells, and try and work out how Rajesh would cope with all of this trauma.