Hello everybody!!
Because I care about you all, and am so intelligent and a real 'clever clogs' I thought I'd better put up a picture of myself, and my twin brother Nosferatu, to show you the uncanny likeness we have with each other!! Yes, I know you are all too stupid to make this comparison yourselves, yes me and Jolean understand this very well...so that's why we put forward these two pictures so you can understand what we mean!!
I'm also sorry that I'm such a genius, and keep using 'puns' and using a 'play' on words in my blog! I know it's confusing you all, but I just thought I was being sooo clever, but obviously it's all gone over your heads.... I know, next time I'll just sing the Pingu song like I do on my Radio Programme, when I have trouble mustering up anything interesting to say...I'm so sorry I talk crap and write crap all day long....I know it must be really trying on your patience, but I really am this brain dead, and well I just can't hide the fact...As you can all quite clearly see!!
Also, I get threatened when anyone gets me back ( by that I mean revenge...no not what I was thinking, I've got people's back sides on my mind you know., oh yes, the bending down types....drop a penny.com), but it's ok, I've got Jolean for moral support...she helps me through it all, and one look through her transparent tache..and I'm transported back with the cows, the land of the greats (Dadyal of course) and my oh soo elusive cousin Gazamphar...oh how I wish I could lift up that Shalwar...but ahem...these days I'm dating someone not from the great land, so have to act a bit sophisticated!! Please, no more Wandering about WANDA!!
Yes, I know my play on words is sooo damn tedious, but this is what I do, especially before a 'link'...(yeah, that Radio talk you fools... I told you I'm better than you all!! Now I've got my radio career!! Sneer, sneer, sneer!!)...what I love doing even more is putting on a Hindi which has something in common with my 'play' on words! How clever!! Yes, Jolean seems to think so, except when the play on words is about her...then she sneers, and tries to put me down...she says...'oh wow, how clever are you?!!' ...(SARCASTICALLY...yes, I'll just Have to spell it out and put it in Caps Lock for you all).....then she goes and makes a cup of tea, because she's sooo above it all, and likes rising above it all, and uses her (what she thinks is) intellligence as a defence mechanism, just like all the geeks at school. That's why I just love her, you know. I can always rely on her to help me through.
There's just one problem though, even though I use these play on words with her, you know, just in 'jest'...(calm down it's only a commercial)...can she not see, that my entire Radio career, was based on the fact that I could create the 'best' puns, and 'play' on words on the BIG BALTI NETWORK? How do you think I have managed to fool her for sooo long? I'm soo unhappy what if she finds me out, ...
actually think again, I think she's the one lacking in intelligence, as she obviously can't see through my charade!!! Good think I've elaborated so much in this blog hey...I told you I care about you all, and am making it easier for all of your obvious lack in any intelligence.
Sorry, though it's too late to break up the text Jolean...you'll just have to put your glasses on...
And NO, I SAID i AM NOT GOING TO BREAK UP EACH PARAGRAPH OF MY BLOG WITH PRETTY PICTURES THAT MATCH THE CONTENT OF TEXT!!!!
WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS THE SUN?? HA!!
(That's the tabloid sort of Sun, Jolean....xxxxxxxx love you)
(I'll have two sugars please this time, feel a bit worn out, actually no the hearts giving me a bit of jip)
(I've just switched onto National Geographic, there's a Cow on the telly, and you know how they remind me of the homeland!!)
Better, stay away from those chocs then on my feature tomorrow, you know how my body is a temple, and we both sneer at bad eaters....eugh!! gross!! So healthy we are, the healthiest thing I do for my body is regurlarly snort a variety of hallucinogents, and snorting drugs....I also like breastmilk, which is particularly good for you, especially the way Mummy makes it!!!
Sorry for all the awful Grammer Jolean!! I know, this intelligence act gets a bit hard for us both, but we will get through,...as long as we stay as self-deluded as we are, pick up on the 'right' trends, and keep sneering @ Shaherezaad, everything will be just fine and dandy!!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM NOSFERATU XXXXXXXXX
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