I’m very upset and hurt, it seems my skivvy has bagged herself a date today, two days after giving birth!
Yes, it’s true! She’s bagged a date today whilst the wind was blowing through her mop!. Only after only 10 minutes of banter outside the local fish and chip shop in west brom (you know she likes her banter as she thinks she is a linguistic queen)..she invited him around to her house!
Morris was more than happy to accommodate her insatiable sexual needs and promptly accepted her suggestion to take down her home address and come round for a drink!
Mophead became so excited at the prospect of some sex tonight that she started laying it all on a bit thick, which made Morris (the dreamboat) back off a bit, as he began to um and ahh about the in and outs of the arrangements.
At this Mophead got very disgruntled at the idea of waiting any longer for sex, and began huffing and puffing, which made Morris realise that this ‘really was what he wanted’
Just as he came to this realisation, Mophead forced her home address and 'sex timetable' upon poor old Morris, and told him to ‘forget about Mom’ as she’s very open minded about this thing, and will be sleeping upstairs anyway, and anyway there’s always enough space in the TV room.
‘Morris’ (despite not having his glasses) saw the address and realised that they were 'neighbours'!
This made Mophead break into a big 'grimace' as she realised that she wouldn’t have to wait long for sex after she returned from her shopping trip from Tesco’s.
She also made a note to herself to buy a huge bottle of ‘Calpol’ to drug the baby to sleep so could satisfy her sexual urges with Morris, a bedoin trick she learnt.
Mophead swelled with pride as she swung her Tesco bag back home to Tantany (the nucleus of West Bromwich chav land).
Yet again she could see she was doing loads for the women’s movement by sexing herself up for a good night of sex and vodka, which is her due right as a fun, fearless female who has as much right to sexual desire as a man apparently (even though we knew that 30 years ago but it’s always good to keep the cause going as men fancy you much more this way xxx)
